Have you ever carried the heavy ache of an unresolved wrong—something that keeps replaying in your chest, or a cold distance with someone you love? Jesus noticed that ache too, and he gave a way forward that honors both truth and relationship. This passage matters because it refuses the easy options of silence, gossip, or scorched-earth withdrawal; it calls us into a disciplined, holy practice of reconciliation rooted in humility and communal care.
In plain words, Matthew 18:15–17 lays out a process for handling when a brother or sister sins against you: first, go to them privately and tell them how they've hurt you and invite repentance. If they won't listen, take one or two others so there are witnesses and an appeal to Scripture. If they still refuse, bring the matter before the church. If that fails, the person is to be treated as someone outside the covenant community—like a Gentile or tax collector—though the aim is restoration, not exclusion for its own sake. This particular step-by-step procedure is given in Matthew (18:15–17); while Luke and Matthew both speak about rebuke and forgiveness (see Luke 17:3–4 and Matthew 5:23–24), the formal communal steps appear uniquely in Matthew’s context of church life.
What this reveals about Jesus is sobering and tender at once: he does not minimize sin’s damage nor does he abandon sinners to shame. His Kingdom values both truth and mercy; confrontation is framed not as punishment but as an act of love intended to restore a brother or sister to fullness of life. The church is called to be a place where holiness and compassion coexist—where accountability is practiced in a spirit of humility, not triumphalism. Don’t miss that Jesus expects courage from us but offers a pathway whose end is reconciliation.
Today, pick one concrete thing: if there’s a specific unresolved hurt, prayerfully ask God for one loving, brief sentence you can say to the person—then ask for permission to speak. Invite a trusted friend to pray with you beforehand and (if needed) to accompany you as a witness. If you’re the one who’s sinned, practice the difficult courage of going first. Let grace shape the step—aiming always to restore, not to win.
Matthew: 18:15-17
Jesus instructs that if a fellow believer sins you should first confront them privately, then bring one or two witnesses if they won't listen, and if still unrepentant take the matter to the church and, if necessary, treat them as an outsider; the process aims at repentance and restoration.
Open Verse